Play With Words

Michael White uses the analogy to tell us what they are like:

If Mrs Thatcher was matron and John Major that nice bus conductor on the No 63, Tony Blair was an upmarket estate agent. But Brown is a hellfire preacher whose media handlers have told him to go easy on the hellfire stuff because it reduces the Sunday collection.

matron: A woman who acts as a supervisor or monitor in a public institution, such as a school, hospital, or prison.

hellfire: Portending future disaster

今天在中国新闻网上看到这则来自星岛日报网的消息：
据称英首相布朗拟邀法国第一夫人任英形象顾问
其中说“英国传媒透露”，Carla Bruni 已经应英国首相布朗邀请，到英国指导英国人生活时尚。这里的“英国传媒”，其实是来自今天《卫报》上的一则新闻。

而这篇标题为 Calling Carla: Brown enlists first lady to give Britain style 的新闻，实际上是《卫报》炮制的愚人节新闻。

这篇文章的虚构的作者 Avril de Poisson 在法国就是用来指愚人节的。文章不仅拿首相布朗开玩笑，还拿与新工党关系密切的智囊团 Demos 开玩笑，最后还没忘记调侃一下法国人的工作态度。文章引用法国大使馆文化参赞助理(还有名有姓的，不知道这个名字是否有来头)的话，说自法国总统夫妇访英后，他们忙于接待世界媒体访问：

We have been working absolutely round the clock, from 9am to 3pm, just to
keep up.

Simon Hoggart described the strangeness of last week’s Prime Minister’s Question Times (PMQ) in the Guardian:

It was a question time full of jollity. David Cameron floored Gordon Brown by agreeing with him. In private they probably concur on many things, but it doesn’t do to say so in front of the children, so this came as a surprise.

他用了两个比喻，floored 和 in front of the childre，形象地解释了 PMQ 的意义。

Prime Minister’s Question Time (PMQ) 是英国首相每周一次来到议会辩论厅，面对全体议员回答问题的时刻。PMQ 的作用，让我想起我们看古代演义小说时，常出现的两军对阵，主将出马单挑的情形。如果一方主将被“斩于马下”，马上全军“阵脚大乱”、“望风而逃”。当然我们知道仗不是这么打的，将军们只要坐阵指挥，无需单挑比武功。但是演义小说如果没了武将单挑，便少了一大乐趣，现代政治也是一样。于是 PMQ 虽然名义上是给予所有议员质询首相的机会，但看点其实是反对党领袖如何单挑首相，连回合都规定好了，有6次机会。上周 David Cameron 把布朗打翻在地 (floored)，保守党这边自然是“旌旗招展”、欢声雷动。

Simon Hoggart 接着又用反喻，把 PMQ 比作夫妻吵架－－原应回避孩子们，但 PMQ 时，众议员们象是一群习惯了父母吵架的孩子，看着父母和和睦睦反而莫明其妙了。

It doesn’t do 是一种因为老式而有趣味的表达方法。在 BBC 的古装剧 Cranford 中，古板的 Deborah 就爱用这种表达方法，特别是当她觉得某种行为不合礼仪的时候。

I saw this on the Guardian sport page and quite like the funny expression:

As this Milan side ages, visitors have become like relatives who look at the household belongings such as the Campions League and wonder how soon they might inherit them.

However, when I looked at the same article by Kevin McCarra on Guardian’s website, the sentence became:

It was as if they had come to the home of their ageing relatives and could not stop themselves from stealing a look at valuable belongings, such as Champions League silverware, that they might soon inherit.

Don’t know which is the early version though.

《最新情人书信写法》(The New Letter Writer for Lovers)是从剑桥大学图书馆塔(Cambridge University Library Tower)中整理出来的维多利亚时代书籍之一。书中教男读者如何向心仪但不熟悉的女士示爱：

Madam,

I scarcely can find courage to address you, and particularly as I cannot flatter myself that you have noticed me in any way. But, at the risk of incurring your displeasure, I feel compelled to express, with all deference, the anxiety I feel to become better acquainted with you, and to confess that you have inspired feelings warmer than those a mere acquaintance might warrant.

然后是女读者如何写拒绝信，如果你看不上他的话。只要把空填上就好了。

Miss ___ presents her compliments to Mr ___ and while she is unwilling to consider his letter an insult, she trusts that in future should she meet Mr ___ he will see the necessity for abstaining from addressing her under any circumtances whatever.

只要用心，什么都可以学。维多利亚时代也是个信息时代呢。

Kathryn Hughes: The secret love lives of the Victorians

Dominic Fifield of the Guardian reports the game between Arsenal v. Blackburn Rovers:

This may have been an uncomfortable victory, squeezed from Blackburn Rovers with the home supporters whipped up into a frenzy of frustration as chance after chance was squandered, but the reality of this team’s vantage point today will render the angst suffered by their followers last night forgotten.

体育报道也可以生动兼有文采。

英国政府宣布将认可几家大公司给自己的员工授予的培训证书，给予这些证书类似 A-Level 或其它政府授予的职业证书的地位。这几家公司之一是麦当劳，于是报纸上出现了 McQualification 字样。这项宣布符合布朗政府“鼓励学徒制”的政策，并称这几个大公司都有完善的员工培训计划。

就在半年多前，麦当劳还自己制造新闻，高调要求牛津英语辞典更新其对 McJob 的释义。牛津英语辞典中解释 McJob 为“无激励作用的、少有前景的低工资工作” (an unstimulating low-paid job with few prospects)。麦当劳除要求修改 McJob 定义之外，还自制新词 McProspect 对抗。

Michael White of the Guardian comments on Peter Hain’s resignation:

Hindsight specialists were quick to argue that Brown’s failure to make him walk the plank in December – when the real scale of his initial £5,000 amnesia began to become clearer – is further proof of his indecision.

我喜欢这里的几个幽默的表达方式：

hindsight specilaist (“马后炮专家”似乎不如原文清晰和精彩)；

walk the plank 是指在船甲板上架起一块木板(plank)，伸向船外，然后让人从板上走过去，掉入海中，现在指被逼辞职；

£5,000 amnesia 指 Peter Hain 声称“忘了申报”的借口。

The Guardian 记者 Mark Brown 在报道英格兰艺术理事局 (Arts Council of England)的CEO Peter Hewitt 面对英国演员工会质询时，用了 thrown to the wolves 这个很形象的短语：

Peter Hewitt, the council’s outgoing chief executive, was in many ways thrown to the wolves as he appeared on stage while actors listened in the audience. The wolves in this case had outstanding projection, timbre and timing.

Actors boo Arts Council over swingeing cuts

这个短语的使用还是很频繁的。我记得在 BBC 的剧集 Spooks 第4季最后一集，Harry曾威胁反叛的前特工，如果她不听从安排，“we throw you to the wolves”。

《卫报》上的更正启事