The spaniard does not just look like a pub footballer, he looks like a pub footballer who has sunk 14 pints with William Hague on a Friday night, gone down the rankest curry house for chicken vindaloo and chips, missed the last bus home, slept on a park bench, not washed and turned up at the Reebok, 2.55pm on the Saturday, to play for Bolton Wanderers.

Somehow I can’t find this article the Guardian website (was published on 30 April 2008).

pub footballer: 相对于 professional footballer，有“乌合之众”之意。

14 pints with William Hague: 前保守党党魁 William Hague 有一次为显示自己并非脱离劳动大众，称自己年轻时打工运送啤酒到酒吧，按规矩每次酒吧都会请搬运工喝一杯(pint)啤酒，并称他最多一天可以送14个酒吧。于是并传成“年轻时每天喝14杯啤酒”(14 pint Hague)。

rank: adj. Strong and offensive in odor or flavor.

chicken vindaloo and chips: 去印度餐馆吃 chips 是改造的吃法。

Reebok: Bolton Wanderers 的主场。

2.55pm on the Saturday: 英超足球比赛的正常开赛时间是周六下午3点。

Artsy 是 arty 的变种，而 arty 已经是很口语化的说法，可谓是 teen talk。《卫报》上 Germaine Greer 尖刻地说：

If by this she meant artistic, rather than artsy-fartsy, she was right on the money.

artistic 是褒意，artsy-fartsy 则完全是贬意了，比“附庸风雅”还不如。

从 food miles 引申出来的 water miles，是指矿泉水、瓶装水的泛滥。饮用水从提取、包装、运输、销售，同样有二氧化碳排放和能源上的副作用。所以英国有鼓励引用自来水的运动。

最近从BBC Radio 4 的 Open Book 节目上，听到一个 book miles 的说法，印书本身需要木材，现在英国书架上的书，可能还是在亚洲某处印刷，再长途运到这里，里程上和对地球资源的浪费上，可能不亚于 food miles 和 water miles。

As I pushed his mower up and down his lawn I realised my mother was watching me. I dropped the lever and called to her, over the whiz of the fading blades: “I can hear him now shouting, You call that a f****** stripe?’.” And she said, “No, he’d be very pleased.”

If Mrs Thatcher was matron and John Major that nice bus conductor on the No 63, Tony Blair was an upmarket estate agent. But Brown is a hellfire preacher whose media handlers have told him to go easy on the hellfire stuff because it reduces the Sunday collection.

matron: A woman who acts as a supervisor or monitor in a public institution, such as a school, hospital, or prison.

hellfire: Portending future disaster

而这篇标题为 Calling Carla: Brown enlists first lady to give Britain style 的新闻，实际上是《卫报》炮制的愚人节新闻。

这篇文章的虚构的作者 Avril de Poisson 在法国就是用来指愚人节的。文章不仅拿首相布朗开玩笑，还拿与新工党关系密切的智囊团 Demos 开玩笑，最后还没忘记调侃一下法国人的工作态度。文章引用法国大使馆文化参赞助理(还有名有姓的，不知道这个名字是否有来头)的话，说自法国总统夫妇访英后，他们忙于接待世界媒体访问：

We have been working absolutely round the clock, from 9am to 3pm, just to
keep up.

Ford Says Tata to Jaguar

Jaguar 是老牌英国车，几年前被美国牌子 Ford 收购，现在 Ford 把 Jaguar 卖给了印度的 Tata 集团。Ta-ta 又是英国俚语，相当于 bye-bye。

It was a question time full of jollity. David Cameron floored Gordon Brown by agreeing with him. In private they probably concur on many things, but it doesn’t do to say so in front of the children, so this came as a surprise.

他用了两个比喻，floored 和 in front of the childre，形象地解释了 PMQ 的意义。

Prime Minister’s Question Time (PMQ) 是英国首相每周一次来到议会辩论厅，面对全体议员回答问题的时刻。PMQ 的作用，让我想起我们看古代演义小说时，常出现的两军对阵，主将出马单挑的情形。如果一方主将被“斩于马下”，马上全军“阵脚大乱”、“望风而逃”。当然我们知道仗不是这么打的，将军们只要坐阵指挥，无需单挑比武功。但是演义小说如果没了武将单挑，便少了一大乐趣，现代政治也是一样。于是 PMQ 虽然名义上是给予所有议员质询首相的机会，但看点其实是反对党领袖如何单挑首相，连回合都规定好了，有6次机会。上周 David Cameron 把布朗打翻在地 (floored)，保守党这边自然是“旌旗招展”、欢声雷动。

Simon Hoggart 接着又用反喻，把 PMQ 比作夫妻吵架－－原应回避孩子们，但 PMQ 时，众议员们象是一群习惯了父母吵架的孩子，看着父母和和睦睦反而莫明其妙了。

It doesn’t do 是一种因为老式而有趣味的表达方法。在 BBC 的古装剧 Cranford 中，古板的 Deborah 就爱用这种表达方法，特别是当她觉得某种行为不合礼仪的时候。

其实 Lizzy，Betty，Beth 都是 Elizabeth 的简写或者昵称，所以她也不算改了名字。Elizebath 的简写或昵称非常之多，wikipedia 列出的有超过70个。伊丽莎白二世 (Elizabeth II)小时候给亲人写信，署的就是昵称之一 Lillibeth 。

Sir, You report on the voluntary news blackout on Prince Harry in recent weeks. Can I request that this blackout be extended indefinitely to the entire Royal Family?

Jack Edmondson
London SW6

这位 Edmondson 先生大概不是保皇派了。他一定和这位有共鸣。