Play With Words

上周《卫报》(Guardian)介绍英国一位因为给两位同性恋教士主持婚礼(civil partnership)而受到教会指责的牧师 Martin Dudley 时，开头第一句是这样的：

Until last Sunday few people had heard of the Reverend Dr Martin Dudley BD MSc MTh PhD FSA FRHistS AKC.

中国人喜欢在名片上加一堆头衔，英国人正式起来，就会在名字后面加一串学历职称资格头衔的缩写，弄出一堆让人莫名其妙的缩写来。

而且加缩写还是有规矩的。《泰晤士报》(Times)上的Philip Howard做了一个很有用的介绍，简单地说就是学历在先，从医资格(如果有的话)在后。但是如果还有御准非御准的头衔的话，就更复杂了。

The short answer is that university degrees precede medical qualifications in the position of letters after the name. The long answer is that Bt or Bart (for a baronet) and Esq, if applicable, precede all other letters. Then orders and decorations conferred by the Crown. Then appointments such as Privy Counsellor, Aide de Camp to Her Maj, Honorary Physician to the Queen. Then university degrees. Then religious orders. Then medical qualifications. Then fellowships of learned societies. Then secondary (ie non-royal) appointments, such as QC, JP, DL, MP. Finally membership of one of the armed forces, such as RN or RAF. Phew. I should take Occam’s Razor to all such alphabet soup of letters after names. Abbrevs and honorifics, like entia, non sunt multiplicanda.

回头看 Martin Dudley 的头衔，我知道 MSc = Master of Science，MTh = Master of Philosophy，PhD = Doctor of Philosophy，能猜出 FRHistS = Fellow of Royal Historic Society，其它就猜不出了。

ITV 的 Jon Champion 今晚解说 Euro2008 四分之一决赛荷兰对俄罗斯。当 Van Nistelrooy 85 分钟为荷兰扳平时，他喊道：

The orange is bright again, and has a future!

然而荷兰的 future 只持续了 20 分钟，当加时赛结束，荷兰 1:3 失利时，他又说：

Tonight in Basel, orange faded into black.

Tony Blair 最近以中东四方特使的身份回到英国众议院参加某个委员会的听证会。《卫报》的 Simon Hoggart 用了 radiant 来形容这位前首相：

He looked, and I choose this word with care, radiant. His skin glowed with the warmth of the sun we at home rarely see. His teeth gleamed so brilliantly that you could use any one as a tiny shaving mirror, for a vole. His hair is slightly shorter, trimmed to keep the formidable Blair brain cool and whirring in the Middle East. He looked far more relaxed than at any time I’ve seen him since his 1997 election victory.

Relaxed and radiant return for the global superstar

Radiant (容光焕发) 这个赞美之词，也不是随便用的。在《每日电讯报》上，上次用 radiant 形容某人是用在法国前第一夫人 Cécilia 身上。

Radiant Cécilia puts Sarkozy in the shade

Toff 这个词，第一层的意思是“爱打扮、身着名贵人士”，但是在英国英语中，却是与社会阶层(social class)紧密联系的，指的是上流社会中身着名贵、态度倨傲的人士。而且在英国，“上流社会”也不是有钱就能进的，必须是有身份的名门贵族。这在社会阶层的分化(class division)仍是热门话题的今天，toff 就是一个用来攻击别人的贬义词。

Toff 一词最近多见于报端，就是因为在英格兰西北的 Crewe and Nintwich 选区补选中，工党用 toff 一词来攻击保守党候选人 Timpson，称其为 Tory toff，还雇佣演员，穿上燕尾服、手执文明棍、头戴高顶礼帽，表演什么是 toff。而工党自己的候选人 Tamsin Dunwoody 就叫“我们自己人”(One of us)。不过工党的这一招显然失灵，补选失败。

Toff 一词，最好的翻译，就是“公子哥儿”。

Times 报道的标题，就是 Divisions over ‘Tory toff’ insult undermine Labour in Crewe by-election

《卫报》驻北京记者 Tania Branigan 5 月 13 日从都江堰发回的报道，刊登在 14 日的头版。这是第一二段：

Tenderly, she eased the clean fleece over her little boy’s hand and up around his plump shoulder. The steady rain washing the town’s streets had chilled the usually warm Sichuan weather.

He didn’t look alarmed or frightened but dirt and blood were caked on his forehead. She touched his hair and then they pulled up the zipper on the bodybag and carried him away. Only her husband marked her howls.

Simon Hattenstone on Iván Campo:

The spaniard does not just look like a pub footballer, he looks like a pub footballer who has sunk 14 pints with William Hague on a Friday night, gone down the rankest curry house for chicken vindaloo and chips, missed the last bus home, slept on a park bench, not washed and turned up at the Reebok, 2.55pm on the Saturday, to play for Bolton Wanderers.

Somehow I can’t find this article the Guardian website (was published on 30 April 2008).

pub footballer: 相对于 professional footballer，有“乌合之众”之意。

14 pints with William Hague: 前保守党党魁 William Hague 有一次为显示自己并非脱离劳动大众，称自己年轻时打工运送啤酒到酒吧，按规矩每次酒吧都会请搬运工喝一杯(pint)啤酒，并称他最多一天可以送14个酒吧。于是并传成“年轻时每天喝14杯啤酒”(14 pint Hague)。

rank: adj. Strong and offensive in odor or flavor.

chicken vindaloo and chips: 去印度餐馆吃 chips 是改造的吃法。

Reebok: Bolton Wanderers 的主场。

2.55pm on the Saturday: 英超足球比赛的正常开赛时间是周六下午3点。

Miley Cyrus 的“露背照”风波，她为自己的辩护是觉得 Vanity Fair 的 Annie Leibovitz 把她拍得“好看自然” (pretty and natural)，并且“很有艺术感”(really artsy)。

Artsy 是 arty 的变种，而 arty 已经是很口语化的说法，可谓是 teen talk。《卫报》上 Germaine Greer 尖刻地说：

If by this she meant artistic, rather than artsy-fartsy, she was right on the money.

artistic 是褒意，artsy-fartsy 则完全是贬意了，比“附庸风雅”还不如。

Food miles 是前两年提出的概念，指食物从出产地到你饭桌上所经过的距离，用以量化食物的运输带来的二氧化碳排放和对原油的依赖。有时候，food miles 确实是离奇，而且从能源消耗和大气污染上看，真的是浪费。比如苏格兰渔民捕获的“小龙虾”(crayfish)，会先横跨地中海印度洋运到泰国，人工剥壳，然后在原路运回欧洲销售。再比如在有些在近北极的巴伦支海捕获的鳕鱼，会先在船上冻上，运到天津分割包装，然后运回欧洲。实在是全球化下的怪相。

从 food miles 引申出来的 water miles，是指矿泉水、瓶装水的泛滥。饮用水从提取、包装、运输、销售，同样有二氧化碳排放和能源上的副作用。所以英国有鼓励引用自来水的运动。

最近从BBC Radio 4 的 Open Book 节目上，听到一个 book miles 的说法，印书本身需要木材，现在英国书架上的书，可能还是在亚洲某处印刷，再长途运到这里，里程上和对地球资源的浪费上，可能不亚于 food miles 和 water miles。

Giles Coren 是 The Times 的餐馆评论员和专栏作者，我很喜欢他的幽默笔锋。星期六在 The Times 上看到他写的文章，说自他父亲最近去世后，他一度觉得没有再写的必要，因为已经 no one to impress。他的父亲是幽默作家 Alan Coren。文章中的一段写道：

As I pushed his mower up and down his lawn I realised my mother was watching me. I dropped the lever and called to her, over the whiz of the fading blades: “I can hear him now shouting, You call that a f****** stripe?’.” And she said, “No, he’d be very pleased.”

Michael White uses the analogy to tell us what they are like:

If Mrs Thatcher was matron and John Major that nice bus conductor on the No 63, Tony Blair was an upmarket estate agent. But Brown is a hellfire preacher whose media handlers have told him to go easy on the hellfire stuff because it reduces the Sunday collection.

matron: A woman who acts as a supervisor or monitor in a public institution, such as a school, hospital, or prison.

hellfire: Portending future disaster